Harrowed Heir Read online

  As the beautiful warrior approached them with leonine grace, Jax watched George out of the corner of her eye. His dark gaze held Ziri’s as if silent communication were passing between the two of them. Jax’s throat squeezed traitorously as a burst of jealousy pulsed through her. She swallowed, trying to bury the unwanted feeling. It was clear a mutual attraction existed between George and Ziri. She should be happy her friend had finally found someone worthy of his favor. Yet, his confession of undying love still haunted her dreams, and long-buried feelings stirred confusingly within her. She loved Perry very much…but had she ever really stopped loving George?

  “Jax?”

  Startled, Jax’s attention darted to Ziri, who stood before her with her head cocked in concern. “Yes?”

  Ziri chuckled. “I said, a crowned falcon arrived from High Courtier Jaquobie, as well. I intercepted the note on its way to your study.” She held out a hand, revealing two neatly tied scrolls.

  Jax reached for the one bearing Jaquobie’s seal, embarrassed to be caught lost in her thoughts in front of the newest member of her court. She didn’t want Ziri Axesinger to think she’d made the wrong decision, leaving behind a brotherhood of warriors who had been like family, to serve a flighty, head-in-the-clouds sovereign. “I hope this means he and Lysette have reached the continent.” She examined the parchment briefly before breaking the seal.

  Jacqueline,

  Lysette and I came ashore last night and made it through the Hestian port without incident. By the time this reaches you, we should be well on our way to Saphire. Please do not worry. We will keep Saphire safe while you are away. Should you require my assistance, know that I am only a wingspan away.

  Virtues watch over you, my dear.

  Jaquobie

  Jax smiled fondly at the touching note. It was hard to believe that the man who called her “my dear” and wrote with such affection had once been one of her most vexing adversaries. As a child, Jaquobie had tortured her with endless lessons and harsh words, and his derision toward her only continued to sour when she assumed her father’s throne. Now, either age or marriage had melted his icy heart, and she found herself missing her senior-most advisor. It had been months since they’d been in each other’s company, as Jaquobie and his new bride had departed to the Duchy of Isla DeLacqua to oversee the government restructuring.

  “Should I be worried that a missive from Jaquobie actually has you smiling?” George teased at her side. Having known Jax since she was nine years old, he had witnessed her tumultuous history with the High Courtier.

  “He and Lysette have made it safely ashore from Isla DeLacqua.” Jax folded the note and slid it into the pocket of her dress. “We thought it best if he slip through unseen by Hestian officials. Until I have formally declared myself as their new sovereign, we must still consider Hestes to be our enemy.” Jax sighed, a wave of weariness washing over her. “Who knows what instructions poor Florian left behind before departing for the War Council?” The Duke of Hestes had been a longtime ally of Saphire, but in the wake of personal tragedy, had turned power-hungry and sided with her enemy, the Coalition of Right. He died from wounds sustained after attacking Henrik Crepsta in a fit of madness, putting into play a Code of Succession that declared Jax the rightful ruler of Hestes.

  A low growl emitted from George’s throat. “We could be walking into a hundred different traps. I still think you should allow me to lead a regiment to clear the capital before you enter.”

  Jax rolled her eyes. “You are the military mastermind, Captain. Leave the diplomacy to me. I will not begin my rule of Hestes by using military force. We will summon the High Courtier and her advisors to a neutral meeting ground once we cross the Hestian border. We’ve already sent along a written account of the War Council with Florian’s body, so the advisors who survive him will be well-informed about the series of events by the time we arrive. Once we’ve all gathered, they can review the Code of Succession for themselves without the use of brute force.”

  In a fluid motion, Ziri withdrew one of the swords strapped to her back and fingered the long, threatening blade. She grinned wickedly. “But where’s the fun in that?”

  Chapter Two

  Jax hesitated as she stood outside her husband’s door. Her hand hovered just above the brass knocker. Why couldn’t she bring herself to clasp it?

  As she stood debating her next move, the Virtues intervened, and Perry’s face appeared as he drew open the solid door.

  “Darling!” His pale features brightened at the sight of her. “I was just getting ready to come find you.” He leaned heavily on a polished cane.

  She swallowed the sea of nerves churning inside her. Since when did she feel uneasy in her loving husband’s presence? Since I realized I must put duty above my heart. Her bitter thoughts echoed inside her head as she scrutinized Perry. How can I leave him like this?

  As she gazed at her handsome husband, Jax’s heart tightened. He’d lost a great deal of weight, being unable to eat due to the severe nature of his abdominal injury. While his gaze was still full of love for her, she noted his lavender eyes were dull and muted. The death of his brother had taken a grave toll on Perry’s recovery, and she worried whether he truly had the stamina for the journey to come.

  Perry winced at her silent assessment. “I look much worse than I feel, dearest.” He reached out and pulled her close. “Please, there is no need to worry.”

  His chest offered her a calming warmth as she pressed her face into his tunic. Yet, his muscles no longer felt as solid as they had once been. “Can you not wait another week, my love?” she whispered.

  He tensed beneath her hands and stepped back, keeping her at arm’s length. His normally jovial features tightened. “I will escort Ivan’s body home,” he said, his tone cool and detached. “I take it that I will be alone in this endeavor.”

  Jax struggled to find the courage to meet her husband’s hardened stare. “My delegation will accompany you and Ivan to the Pettraudian border. I’m afraid that from there, I must head south to Hestes. Time is against us—”

  Perry turned away from her and walked back inside the confines of his recovery chambers. Jax followed, shutting the door behind them for some much-needed privacy.

  “I’m sorry, dearest,” she said, “but I must consider the larger picture. I wish I had time to accompany you, I do. But the longer the thrones of Hestes, Kwatalar, and Crepsta remain vacant, the more difficult it could become for me to peacefully ascend each—”

  Perry held up a silencing hand. “You don’t need to tell me, Jax. I am well aware of all the power that has fallen into your lap.”

  His attitude confused her. He sounded almost…jealous? Bitter? What had brought on this change? He had been happy for her when he first learned of the Code of Succession declaring her sovereign of three additional dukedoms. “Perry, more than half the duchies in the realm are leaderless,” she began in a pleading tone. “We’re in a delicate state of peace. Beautraud and Tandora have tentatively withdrawn from the Coalition of Right under the instruction of their new sovereigns. Ziri has just had word from the Knights of Grace that Zaltor has been plunged into a civil war, with a faction of the royal family claiming a right to the throne over Katalina’s daughter. Hestes, Crepsta, and Kwatalar have no idea what their future holds.” Jax moved to her husband’s side and placed a comforting hand on his forearm. “I loved Ivan like he was my own brother—”

  “Then surely you can spare a week from your busy schedule to lay him to rest?” Perry snapped, whipping his arm away from her touch.

  I don’t have a week, my love.

  Perry had been telling her about the longwinded memorial ceremonies that were to occur for his warrior brother. He had spoken of endless Pettraudian rites and rituals that she had never heard of, all done to send a valiant warrior into the care of the Virtues. If Ivan’s burial were to have taken a day or two, she would have made the time, no matter what the state of the realm, but she could not afford to be s
idetracked by a week of elaborate ceremonies, given everything hanging in the balance.

  Tears blurred her vision. “I’m sorry, but time is against me at the moment.” She thought Perry, of all people, might be able to understand the impossible pressure she was under. He had a duchy of his own to think about. Didn’t he realize they needed to put the realm back together and quickly, or their people would be in jeopardy?

  Perry stood with his back to her, gazing out the window. She joined him, her focus trailing out the glass and across the snow-capped mountains set against the pale horizon.

  “I plan to pay my respects to your family upon my return from Crepsta,” she mumbled, shying away from the anger rolling off her husband’s shoulders.

  “Crepsta? I thought you were going to Hestes?” Pinched confusion fluttered across Perry’s reflection, making him look like a small boy.

  “I will visit Hestes and establish my leadership before bringing the Code of Succession to the Kwatalarian and Crepstian royal courts.”

  Perry’s expression darkened against the glass. “So, Ivan’s memorial will just be a stop along the way of your victory tour, then?”

  Jax’s growing temper got the better of her. “This isn’t a victory tour, for Virtues’ sake! I would expect you of all people to understand that,” she seethed, fighting the urge to break down in anguished tears. “Many soldiers gave their lives protecting me, Perry. They laid down their lives to defend the promise of a better future for the realm. I cannot let their sacrifices be in vain. If I don’t fix this world now, who knows what further chaos it might descend into?”

  Her words hung in the air, a silence enveloping them. Perry’s stony reflection stared back at her, but Jax refused to bend and held his gaze. “You know how sorry I am about Ivan.” She’d curled up beside her husband, sorrowful sobs wracking her bruised and weary body, the night she’d broken the news about his death. “I am afraid, however, this is an instance where a Duchess must place duty above her heart.”

  At that, Perry’s gaze dropped to the floor and his body deflated. “I’m sorry. I know I’m being unfair. I’m just…” He ran a hand stiffly through his wild, dark curls, the wound in his stomach clearly still bothering him. “It’s not as easy for me as it is you to put duty above all else.”

  Whether or not it was intentional, the cold words stung. Did he think this was easy for her? She had laid awake at night agonizing over not being able to attend Ivan’s memorial ceremonies. While she’d sat by his bedside as he recovered, Perry had gone on and on about the different rituals that needed to be adhered to. The extravagance made Jax wish the Pettraudian tradition of burying warriors killed in battle was a day-long affair, rather than a week-long one. A day or two she could spare to be by her husband’s side, but more than that...she couldn’t avoid the realm’s problems longer than that.

  Jax swallowed the stinging pain Perry’s words had caused and gently turned her husband to face her, tired of communicating with his glassy reflection. “I hate that I cannot be by your side, dearest, but know you will be in my thoughts and dreams. And once I’ve set the world right, there will be time. For us.”

  Perry leaned down and pressed his cold, clammy forehead to hers. “It seems that ever since our wedding, we’ve been robbed of our time together.”

  “Do you regret it?” The question was out of her lips before she could stop herself.

  Perry’s brow wrinkled. “Regret what?”

  “Marrying me?” She spoke in a fearful whisper. “Regret this life you’ve been thrust into?”

  His fingers tipped her chin upward. “No matter what grief or misfortune comes my way, I could never regret falling in love with you.” His tender, soft lips found hers, revealing the truth of his answer.

  A tear leaked from the corner of one of her eyes. “I’m so sorry I cannot go with you.” Guilt crushed against her lungs as she pictured her husband, standing alone as he watched his older brother’s body be placed in a tomb.

  Perry wiped her sorrow away. “Ivan would scold me silly for how I’m behaving,” he mused, more to himself than to her. “He, too, fought for the future that is now within our reach.” He swallowed his own emotion. “I know he would stand by your decision to forge ahead and unite your duchies.”

  Your duchies? Doesn’t he mean our duchies? She must have misheard him. She and Perry were a team, and while each ruled their own empire, at the end of the day, they were each other’s greatest ally and fiercest champion. Yes, she must have misheard him.

  While her husband’s understanding concession somewhat assuaged her guilt over missing Ivan’s burial, Jax prayed her ascension to the thrones of Hestes, Crepsta, and Kwatalar would go smoothly in the weeks that lay ahead. She wanted to return to Perry’s side as quickly as possible.

  He kissed her temple. “And I promise to take it easy. I’ll be in top form by the time we meet again.”

  Jax assessed her husband’s weak state, anxiety over his condition boiling to the surface of her emotions once more. Master Holton had assured her that the short ride to Pettraud would not damage Perry’s constitution too greatly, but the healer had also expressed uncertainty about how long it would take for Perry to make a complete recovery. While Perry made light of his wounds, his injuries had come dangerously close to taking his life.

  “Perhaps once things are settled with his brother, the Duke will be able to take the time to heal properly,” Master Holton had told Jax earlier in the week. “I know we are living in tumultuous times, but I fear he might never regain his full strength if he continues on like this.”

  The healer’s words had terrified Jax; she couldn’t bear the thought of losing Perry. I need him at my side to see this through to the end. She put aside her worries to respond to Perry with a lighthearted retort. “I’ve already threatened to detach Master Holton’s head from his body if you don’t get the rest you require,” she joked.

  Perry rolled his lavender eyes. “No wonder why Master Holton keeps shoving herbs and poultices my way every two minutes.”

  Jax rested a hand on his cheek. “Please listen to him, my love. I need you to recover. Your duchy needs you to recover. Might I remind you, you have a whole nation looking to you for direction in these uncertain times.” Perry had been crowned Duke of Pettraud less than five months ago, and in the weeks since the Coalition’s attack, Jax often had to remind her husband of his duty to his throne.

  Perry stilled under her touch, his eyes narrowing at her light rebuke. “Which is why I must return home as quickly as possible.”

  Jax glanced out the window at the noonday sun. He used to call Saphire home. Stifling a sigh, she straightened her shoulders and nodded. “George and Ziri are readying our delegations. We should be able to depart within the hour.”

  Perry gave her a curt nod, then walked to the infirmary bed that had been his home for the last two-and-a-half weeks.

  Jax noted he tried to conceal a limp but was unsuccessful under her intense scrutiny. “Would you like my help packing?” Not waiting for his response, she went to grab a saddlebag that rested in the corner of the room.

  She felt his eyes on her as she moved around the small chamber, gathering his things and stuffing them into the leather satchel.

  “You’re quite good at that, Duchess.” A bemused smirk settled onto his lips as he toyed with his cane. “Poor Sabine might be out of a job.”

  Jax chuckled as she stuffed a wrinkled tunic deep into the recesses of the bag. “I never thought I’d say this, but I am looking forward to relinquishing the responsibilities over to her. It’s exhausting picking out your own clothes each day.” She was merely joking, for Jax eagerly looked forward to reuniting with her lady’s maid, as well as her lady-in-waiting. While Jax had enjoyed the freedom of taking care of herself during the War Council, more than anything, she missed the companionship of Uma Dorrow and Sabine Arceneaux. How she longed to return to Saphire so she could see them again.

  She had been packing for just a minute o
r two when someone knocked. Jax hurried past her husband to answer the door.

  George’s warm smile greeted her. “Everything is ready for your departure if…” His chocolate gaze trailed to Perry, who leaned heavily on one of the posters of his bed. “If you’re ready.”

  Instinctively, Jax glanced at her husband. Propped against the poster of the bed, Perry’s eyes were closed. His chest rose and fell in deep breaths as if he were fighting through a crippling pain. He’s not ready for this. But how could she demand he stay behind and recuperate? She herself could not afford to delay her journey south any longer than she already had. She had wanted to ride to Hestes as soon as she was able to properly sit up in bed, but Master Holton had forbidden it.

  “You’re lucky to be alive, Your Grace,” he had chided her. “If you want to stay that way, I suggest giving yourself ample time to mend.”

  Absently, she rubbed her throbbing forehead, wincing as her fingers brushed against her scar. “Yes. We’re just finishing up packing Perry’s things, if you’ll send someone to collect his saddlebag.”

  “Nonsense.” Perry’s nonchalance was muffled by a grunt of pain. “I can bring it down myself.” Using his cane for support, he bent toward the floor, his left arm shaking as he reached for the straps of his bag.

  George swooped into the room, scooped up the bag and tossed it over his shoulder. “How about I take this out front and you two enjoy a nice, leisurely stroll together to the courtyard?”

  His thoughtfulness made Jax’s chest clench with guilt. How did he have the strength to act so unaffected by her and Perry’s relationship? She marveled at his sheer will. She wished she could emulate that same serene peace when she was around George and Ziri, instead of letting her childish envy take over.

  Perry gave George a grateful pat on the back before threading his arm through Jax’s. “I am glad to say goodbye to this place.” He glanced around the sparse, utilitarian chamber one last time. Lowering his voice, he whispered in Jax’s ear, “I have greatly missed sharing a bed with you, my love.” Due to the extent of his injuries, Master Holton had insisted Perry sleep alone, for fear Jax might inadvertently touch her husband’s wound while sleeping.